Old Age and Christian Growth

Another title was suggested for this article, using the words "senior citizens," but though I am certainly old, I do not like this fairly recent term. It seems to me that the expression "senior citizens" attempts to camouflage the very concept of "old age," as if being old is undesirable, somehow detrimental. Yet reaching the age of "three score and ten, and by reason of strength fourscore" as the Bible says, is, I believe, something to be proud of, - not by reason of any personal achievement, merit, or virtue, but just because being old is a distinction and represents great values. "Oldness" in itself has a quality that other stages of life do not have.

In my professional life as an educator, one of my greatest inspirations has always been the Gospel account of Jesus Christ blessing children, - little children who must have been such a disturbance that the disciples "rebuked those that brought them." "And when Jesus saw it He was indignant and took them in His arms and blessed them." Now I find of similar inspiration the account of the aged St. Simeon and 80year old Anna meeting the infant Jesus in the temple and being led by the Holy Spirit to recognize Him as the promised Savior. It is an image of human old age performing a task, of utter importance to all humanity, assigned to it by God.

The first thing to be remembered about old age is that it carries with it an assignment, a task, a challenge. It is not a matter of the younger generation contributing something to care for the old, of sympathy and compassion for the infirmities of old age, of a sense of responsibility for them. All this has its place, but living as an old person means, first of all, a continued spiritual effort, continued spiritual growth. The struggle for the Kingdom of God, which is always "violent" as we are taught, does not stop when you retire. And effort, any kind of effort, becomes more difficult in old age, thus the struggle acquires a new poignancy. On the other hand, some things become easier: humility, without which no spiritual life is possible, comes more naturally. An old person's mental and physical infirmities force one to be more humble, to recognize one's limitation. In old age you cannot be proud of your appearance, of your intellectual abilities, or physical agility. Passions, worldly passions, have also less hold on the old; it is easier to contemplate life in a more relaxed way.

Inner growth, spiritual progress, during the period of old age is a challenge and a task that only the old themselves can meet. Just like during all the other periods of an individual's life, an old person has to face the ultimate issue - either to respond to God's call or to ignore it.

How do old people stand in relationship to the rest of the community, the family, the parish?

There is a wider and deeper perspective to old people's vision of life. They can realize more easily that the events of today are not all that unique, that people loved, suffered, failed, and achieved and struggled in pretty similar and just as real ways sixty and seventy years ago. If one can break through the rather boring boastful and didactic pattern of "we did it differently" and "things used to be better," if one can call upon memories of heartbreaks and joys, one can relate in a more understanding, serene, and sympathetic way to all that takes place today.

Old people can be a living witness to Christian values and attitudes, to the indestructibility of certain aspects of church life. In oursecularized society where there is no unified life style, traditions do not determine moral standards. Our professional social, economic, academic experience is pretty completely separated from our Christian faith. Our young people have never known a way of life and daily work determined by the church calendar as our ancestors did the sacramental meaningfulness of the major events of human life - birth, marriage, death - is eroded. The mere presence in a family, or in a community, of a person who is a living embodiment of meaningful traditions, of a different kind of hierarchy of values, is important. Many examples come to one's mind.

In an Orthodox family where the adult and younger generation grew up in the tradition of frequent communion, the old grandfather rejoiced in the practice. He never gave up, however, the "prayer rule" traditionally established as preparation for receiving Holy Communion, involving about an hour's reading time. His practice caused awe to his grandchildren who had never heard of it. Without imposing his practice on others, he was a living witness of the need to make an effort in preparing oneself to receive Holy Communion.

An old woman nearing her nineties, baked a lot of "bird-buns" ("javoronki") for the day of the Forty Martyrs and distributed them in church to the church school children. Surely, "javoronki" (an old Russian village tradition) is not the deepest symbolical interpretation of the meaning of martyrdom, but it conveyed a touch of celebration, of festivity, a sense of fun, that may have been more meaningful to the kids than the troparion they heard in church. Old people can be a living witness of faith that penetrates all the practical, realistic details of their life, a faith which does not remain an intellectualized concept.

Old people can be less emotional, less "passionate" and more relaxed in their attitude to the problems of the young. For parents, every misdeed of theirchildren is very upsetting. It is a humiliating reflection on them, on theirfailureas parents. Grandparents need nothave this emotional resonance. I remember a grandmother and her 14-year old granddaughter enjoying a coffee hour after Divine Liturgy. Suddenly the girl asked her grandmother whether she had a match, because "she was dying for a smoke. . . ." The grandmother calmly searched her handbag for matches, did not find any and they continued their pleasant chat in the course of which she asked the youngster whether she thought the people around her would be shocked to see her smoking and whether this was why she wanted to smoke. The girl put the cigarettes back into her pocket. The whole conversation remained friendly and lowkey. I believe that this is the pedagogic role of grandparents - represent standards, be frank and understanding and remain unshocked.

Perhaps the greatest contribution the older people can bring to our society is a more realistic appreciation of what is important and what is less important in life. The famous words of Ecclesiastes are truly words of old age: "Vanity of vanities! All is vanity! ... What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done . . ." This attitude does not mean necessarily lack of rejoicing in the good things of life. But somehow it is easier to realize when one is old, how completely unessential are many things that seem so desperately important during the more active periods of life.

In the life of the church as a whole the aged with their stability, their memory and loyalty to the past, and their fearlessness can be a real power, a real force. Like all human power it can serve the good of the church or it can become harmful. In our time we have a good example of this in the church in Russia. For fifty years, under conditions of persecution and of almost total destruction of organized church life, the old "babushki" kept the church alive,- unafraid, staunch, immovable, heroic, maintaining the church indestructible against all laws of the theory of probability. And then, when the life they preserved began to bring seeds, when new living shoots began to pierce through the seemingly dead surface, and young people, born in materialistic atheism, began to discover the church, - then those very same "babushki" often became "evil witches" that chased away young people: "We don't come to bother you at your parties, don't you come to bother us in church!" I was told that parish priests and bishops are sometimes compelled to take measures against this un-loving, anti-teaching, suspicious attitude of old parishioners. Even here in the USA I have often seen parishes where young people lose interest in the church because they have no responsibilities, no duties, no role to play, and the old men and women hang on jealously to functions which could be just as wall performed by young people.

I believe that the very old generation of "babas" in our American parishes, - the old women whom we saw in church, long before the beginning of the service, fingering their beads and murmuring prayers, has almost disappeared. But as new, more sophisticated, better educated perhaps, great-grandmothers and grandmothers grow old, they nevertheless face the same challenge and are called to answer the same need. They must remain that edge of the church which is less involved in activities, but continues in the process of spiritual growth, spiritual effort. They must remain staunch warriors in the "invisible warfare," providing an example of serene integrity, loyalty and stability. And at the same time they must remain interested, loving and understanding to the needs of the younger generations - tired and frustrated parents, rebellious youth, questioning children. We, old people, have to be true to our call and our vocation - that of recognizing God's message in our day and time.

The church can help its old people in their many physical and social needs, but especially by trying to keep open the paths of personal communication, friendship and guidance. Old people's homes and nursing homes have become part of our way of life and this may be a good thing in many ways. They save the helpless old from the humiliation of being unwanted members of young households. They save young families from burdens of day-to-day responsibility that may be heavier than they can carry. But living in a Home should not mean being deprived of personal relationships. When a parish group comes to sing Christmas Carols in a Home for the Old, or brings gifts of talcum powder or shaving lotion, this does not mean that an effort has been made to establish friendship. Surely, young people can have more imagination than that. Visiting individually, asking the old to show their old photographs, asking about how things used to be done, and so on, is a step in the right direction.

It is not accidental that "sobornost" - fellowship, communion, our "oneness" in Christ - is such an important concept in Orthodoxy. It is important to recognize that our children, our "growing edge", must be part of that Church "oneness" and share fully in its life of grace. The old too. Let us all, young and old remember this. The old need to be in full and real communication with the church body as a whole. And the church, as a whole, needs the contribution to its life that can be made by its "retiring edge."