Reflections of A College Freshman

A year ago in June, my husband and I with our son, made the rounds of the colleges that our son had picked for possible enrollment. Along with the orientation program highlighting the outstanding features of the institution, we saw exhibits that were set up to feature the activities students could engage in after classes: Computer Club, Alliance Francaise, NYPIRG, Gay Alliance, Young Republicans, Intramurals, Black Student Union, Phi Theta Pi, to name a few. Bulletin boards advertised jazz concerts, internships, stress groups, meditation sessions. Various student newspapers were stacked on tables for the taking. At one school the topic of the day was student dissent over administrative practices. The tabloid I picked up at another school was devoted to black magic and dream interpretation. What choices our son would have! How would he steer himself through the maze and make wise decisions? Where was the banner indicating that an Orthodox Christian Fellowship was among the group choices available? I had noticed onlytwo religious student groups with information on display - Newman House for Roman Catholic students and Hillel Foundation for the Jewish students. Back in our college days both my husband and I had been fortunate enough to find "OCF's" existing at our universities.
The year sailed quickly by. It is June again and our son is home from school, his clothes and regalia spilling from his room upstairs down to the basement. Mounds of clothes are piled around the washing machine which is soon to be in for some long hours of arduous churning. Howdid itgo?Was he the same fairly stable lad we left in September? What dimensions had been added to his life? I decided to ask him, with the thought that his experiences and observations might be of some benefit and (hopefully) reassurance to those students and parents starting out on the road to higher education. Parishes might also see a role they can play in a college student's life.
When you were looking for a college, Greg, what were the major factors you considered?
Greg: The reputation of the school, academically and otherwise, the cost, the size, the acceptance rate of its students into good graduate schools.
Was a consideration whether there was an Orthodox church near-by?
Greg. Not consciously. Since the schools I was looking into were all in or near fairly large cities, I assumed there'd probably be one somewhere in the vicinity. As it did turn out, the school I chose had not one but two OCA parishes in the area as well as several other Orthodox churches of different ethnic backgrounds.
What was adjustment to college life like?
Greg: In the first few weeks it wasn't bad. We spent most of the time getting to knoweach other, having good times. But after a week or two the heavy work load descended. Also, the longer and better you get to know people on a daily basis, the more the little annoyances begin to come out and you have to deal with the different problems that start to bother you.
Was loneliness a problem?
Greg: Not really. I had been away from home on my own before. I also found it helpful living in a suite with 5 other guys. That way there was always someone around to talk to.
With the people you talked to the most, and in depth, what are some of the things you talked about?
Greg: Our life histories, our classes, other people, relationships, sex, sports.
Did you have any religious discussions?
Greg: One of my friends was interested in our Faith so we talked about it sometimes and I took her to church with me twice. Otherwise, discussions involving beliefs were more on different moral issues like abortion and capital punishment.
Did you find that your church background and education prepared you to express definite ideas on these subjects as an Orthodox Christian?
Greg: Yes. I wasn't going to win any arguments, but at least I could tell my views. In my particularsuite there were 2 Jewish fellows who don't go to the synagogue, 2 Roman Catholics, one who goes to church and one who doesn't, and one fellow who is of some Protestant background but who didn't go to church. Although I like them all, I did find that I could relate in values most to the suite mate that also went to church. This I found to be true among most of the friends I made.
What of the problems of drugs and drinking that parents really worry over?
Greg: Drugs were not a problem in our dorm, although there was some use of marijuana occasionally. There was a lot more drinking, especially of beer. I don't know of anyone so far who's become dependent on it, but on the weekends the kegs are on tap from morning to night.
You lived on a coed floor in the dorm. Was that a plus or minus?
Greg: Both. It was good in that you could go into anyone's room and talk to anyone you wanted. In that sense we had lots of sisters. And we'd help each other out. They'd iron pants and sew buttons for us. We'd carry their heavy packages and walk with them on campus late at night. But it was not so good if you got romantically involved with someone on the floor. Then when the romance cooled, and you saw them all the time, it was somewhat awkward.
What would you say are the biggest problems for freshmen?
Greg: Self-discipline and time management. You have to make yourself study. In so many courses there may just be a mid-term and a final. If you let the studyinggo until just beforethe exam, you're in big trouble. Like others, when I didn't write a paper until the day before it was due and then had to stay up all night writing it and typing it, and then face the next day with no sleep, I began to change my study habits.
What was your church life like as a freshman?
Greg: Well, as you remember, when you deposited me in the Fall, we did find one of the two OCA churches that weekend and went. The priest and the people were very welcoming, especially the older people. It did help that we knew one or two people from previous church contacts. (Later when I visited the other OCA parish, the greeting there was equally warm.) Right away I was invited to sing in the choir- which I had done at home. And several people offered to pick me up for the services. As it turned out, I went most often with the Deacon's family since they lived close to the campus.
Was it as easy to get into the pattern of going to church services there as it was at home?
Greg: No, it was difficult. At home we all went. It was the normal thing to do. At school there were only a few others I knew going, mostly Roman Catholic students whose center was right next to the campus and who had a choice of times for the Mass. Our school life revolved around a different time schedule than at home. We generally went to bed at around 1 or 2 in the morning and got up around 10. I had arranged my schedule notto have early classes. We went to bed even later on the weekends. So to be ready for a ride at 8:45 (9:00 Liturgy) was a real challenge. I'd streak through the shower, tying mytie and putting on my belt on the way to the car. It was a downhill run and, over the year, I did lose a few pieces of clothing on the way in that semi-conscious state.
Was it worth it?
Greg: Getting up was the hardest, and my friends thought I was crazy - but once I was there, it felt good to be there. When I did miss a Sunday, that day and that week felt incomplete somehow.
Did you participate much in the parish life?
Greg: Well, people not only brought me to church, but invited me for brunch or dinner from time to
time. It added a lot to my usually quiet Sundays, especially when the weather was bad and there wouldn't be any spontaneous sports on the quad. I also joined the men's basketball team - something I really enjoyed and never had the chance to do in our home parish where we had no team.
You were really lucky to find not one, but two such very accepting church communities.
Greg: True. I would've gone over even more often, but I didn't like to impose for rides. It's a lot to ask someone to pick you up and drop you off more than once a week. So I've been thinking it would be a good idea to take a car up next year. What do you say, Mom?
No comment with audience present.
Greg: The only thing is that I haven't met any other Orthodox students at the churches. I did meet one Orthodox girl on campus and she came with me once to church, but that was about it. The ideal would be a student chapel like the Newman House that the Catholic students have. They get together not only for Mass, but for discussions and social activities.
Although the existence of Orthodox Christian Fellowships on campuses has diminished in the last decade or two rather than grown, I now sense a renewed interest on the part of the church - nationally, locally, on the part of the seminaries in reaching the Orthodox college student. You, yourself, can help a lot, Greg, by finding out who the other Orthodox students are on your campus and inviting them to get together.
Greg: Father did ask me to do just that.  Just getting used to the school last year, I didn't have the time, but it's a firm intention for next year. Do you have any ideas on how I'd go about finding out who is Orthodox?
I'd first check with the university chaplain's office, or if there isn't any, with the registrar's office to see if there's any record kept of student's religious preference. If so, it's the easiest way to get names and addresses. Also talk with the chaplain(s) about the general set-up of religious student groups at the school, whether space is provided for them to meet, what groups there are, etc.
If no student records exist, talk with Father about a time, place and date for an initial meeting. With the help of the parish, or on your own make up some flyers announcing such a get-together for Orthodox students as well as any Orthodox faculty and administrators. Get a friend or two to help you put them up all over campus. Take out an ad in the campus newspaper at the same time. The advertising should bring some response and you may just be able to form a group even if very small at first, that would care to meet on a regular basis. Then word of mouth and personal contact may well dig up some more people. The brothers and sisters on your floor may even become interested.
From my own experience, there was always a special bond among the members of the OCF because we had our Faith in common. In our case, the students themselves, with the support of a member of the administration who was Orthodox, kept the OCF alive and well, despite the fact that there was no Orthodox church in the area. The talks over lunch, the events we planned and carried out together, the services we helped setup, sang and read for when we could get a priest to come, are among the fondest of my college memories. I do believe they provided for spiritual growth rather than a spiritual gap over those years.
Greg: Sounds like you're talking me into becoming a crusader for the Faith next year. Now about my crusade for a car . . .