Unless You Become Like Children

As adult parishioners, parents, teachers, or pastors, we usually think of education in the Church as something done primarily to or for children. Children are the youngest members of the congregation and our job is to raise them up, to nurture them in the Faith. They are seen as the recipients of a heritage, a heritage that we adults already possess and hand down from one generation to another. The process of education, consequently, is that of "filling an empty vessel" or "writing upon a blank slate" the treasure of information that has accumulated from the tradition of past centuries. Children are viewed as those "empty vessels," those "blank slates" - vacant, clean containers waiting passively to be filled with the wisdom of the ages.
But Jesus Christ viewed children differently. He believed that children had a wisdom of their own, a wisdom from which adults could learn and benefit. When the disciples came to Him and asked "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" Jesus answered by calling a child to Himself. Placing the child in their midst, He said, "Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven ... whoever receives one such child in My Name receives Me." (Matt. 18:1-5)
When referring to this text, St. John Chrysostom points to the simplicity and humility of the very young child - the child who has not yet learned the passions of envy, vainglory, pride, and the ambition to be in the "first" place. In order
to attain the kingdom, one must first "turn" - be converted - from such passions to this state of childhood.
Yet, when we turn to the epistles of St. Paul, we are given a different appearance of childhood. When speaking about perfect and imperfect knowledge, Paul says: "When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man, I gave up childish ways." (1 Cor. 13:11) Then, in Ephesians (4:13-14), he exhorts us to work to attain to the unity of the faith, to the "knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ; so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the cunning of men, by their craftiness in deceitful wiles." Childhood, for St. Paul, is a time of uncertainty, a time when one's ideas are always changing, a period of one's life that must be outgrown if intellectual and spiritual maturity is to be achieved. In order to accomplish this, Paul tells us: "put off your old nature which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and put on the new nature, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness." (Ephesians 4:22-24) The true and perfect knowledge of mature manhood in Christ also requires "conversion" - the renewal of the spirit of our minds- in order to attain the likeness of God.
Is there a real contradiction here? I think not for, setting aside even distinctions of age and development in childhood, it appears that what both Christ and St. Paul are really speaking of is the necessity of conversion - the conversion of one's spirit - in order to enter the kingdom. The same "deceitful wiles" and "cunning of men" which toss the immature person "to and fro" are the very passions of envy, vainglory, pride and ambition that provoked Jesus' own disciples to be concerned about "who is the first" in the kingdom of heaven. And that spirit of childhood - of simplicity and humility- of which Christ speaks, is the spirit of that new nature, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness, the only spirit that can transform our minds to receive the perfect knowledge of Christ.
Anyone who is close to children knows only too well that childhood (as well as adulthood) can be seen in dual light. Children do exhibit the purity, humility, simplicity and wisdom of the kingdom, of the true nature of man that God intended when He created us. But children, like adults, also exhibit very early in life the signs that this nature is now "fallen nature" - a nature in need of transformation or renewal, that they may again put on the "likeness of God" in true righteousness and holiness. Children and adults are both in need of such a conversion, but it is part of the gift of childhood that children are still able to reflectto a greater or lesser degree - some of those aspects of the "Adam" before the Fall, the Adam now made perfect in Christ. It is in these aspects, however brightly or dimly illuminated, that we, as adults, can learn from children.
How then can children be "educators" in the Christian life? How can they or do they help us to see what is of the kingdom of heaven? Let's examine that humility which Christ Himself placed before us as the particular virtue of childhood.
Humility as Dependence and Trust
Humility takes many expressions, but one of the most obvious signs of humility is dependence. In the Christian context, a humble dependence is a willing or accepted dependence. Our entire life fights against this dependence, for we all want to be independent, self-sufficient, able to "go it alone." One of the greatest difficulties of old age or sickness is the willingness to accept our physical dependence on others, to admit to ourselves that we really do need the help of others.
The child by nature is a dependent. The newborn child is totally dependent on others for its very life. Food, clothing, shelter, warmth, comfort- all the basic human needs are provided for the child by adults, most specifically the child's mother. The humility of the child rests in its acceptance of these gifts, the ready and willing acceptance of the very condition of dependency. The child who resists food, resists clothing, resists love and comfort cannot survive for any length of time.
The Church continually reminds us that Christ chose to humble Himself by taking on flesh, appearing on this earth as a man. But His very Coming was in the lowly state of a little child. Christ accepted to be born as a child, to be dependent and totally helpless as a child, to be at the mercy of his mother and relatives for all His basic needs as a child.
Dependency is the foundation stone of trust. The one who is totally dependent gradually learns to place his trust in the persons who fulfill his basic needs - hour after hour and day after day. Trust expands the limits of dependency - from an almost "forced" state involving little choice to a freely-accepted dependency, from a primarily physical dependency to psychological and spiritual dependencies. But "dependency" in and of itself is not the aim of the Christian life, rather, "trust," "belief," "faith," and "hope" in Christ is what we strive for.
It is such a dependency based on trust, faith and hope that Christ wants us to place in God. "Do not be anxious about your life," He says, asking "what you shall eat or what you shall drink, nor about your body, what you shall put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? . .. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O men of little faith? . . . your heavenly Father knows that you need (these things). But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things shall be yours as well . . ." (Matt. 6:25-34)
Children whose basic dependency has grown into a sense of trust have an almost total trust in the world and in other adults until their experience leads them to believe otherwise. They know someone (who is watching) will catch them as they balance precariously on a ledge, they know Mommy will kiss them goodnight even if they've behaved badly, and they know, even in young adulthood, that Dad will help out if he is able when they're really in a pinch. Though it may often be betrayed, the trust learned in childhood is essential for our developing relations with other persons and with God throughout our lives. Without the simple trust and willing dependency of the child, we cannot have the strength of faith and belief that enables us to follow Christ, to set aside (unlike the rich young men in the Gospel: Matt. 19:13ff.) all that we treasure in order to gain the promise of the treasure of heaven.
Humility in Imitation
The second aspect of the humility of children lies in their willingness and desire to imitate others, particularly the behavior of older children and adults. Children acquire much of their early learning by observation and imitation. They are never too proud to think they can do without such models, nor are they hesitant to try to imitate tasks that may be beyond their capabilities.
Our lives are caught in a constant struggle between the desire to be different and the desire to conform. The virtue lies in neither exercise, but in the example or norm which we value. Christ calls us to the good and perfect life of God, the life of which He was the Image, the Incarnation. He called His disciples with the clear instruction "Come, follow Me." His obedience, love and humility were the example of the very teaching He imparted to His followers. St. Paul exhorts us to follow this example, saying: "be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us." (Eph. 5:1-2) Christ also calls us to be an example for others to follow, to be a "light" that others "may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven."(Matt. 5:16) He says, "love one another; even as I have loved you ... By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." (Jn. 13:34-35) Christ's example for us is our example for others.
The opportunity to learn from the example of others is reciprocal, especially for children and adults - it is not a one-way street. Children "try out" their imitation of others in play; play is their means for practicing the skills and values they have observed in others. But we can also learn much about our own mistakes and shortcomings by observing the play of children, as many mothers and fathers will confirm. The conversations of children, their use of bad words or empty threats, their behavior in the act of playing house or playing school, or playing church all reflect the realities which we place before them. They learn those words, those actions, those attitudes from us! We can learn much about our own behavior from the examples our children have chosen to imitate. By improving our own lives and acquainting them with the lives of saints and other persons who are worthy of imitation, we can also help them in the process of establishing good criteria for the models they will seek to imitate throughout their lives.
Humility and Wonder
A third aspect of the humility of children is their sense of wonder. Almost everything in the world is a source of wonder to the young child: blinking lights on a Christmas tree, falling snow, a busy anthill, the splash of a rock in water, or a switch thatturns the light on and off. Wonder elicits awe, inspiration, delight and imagination. Wonder is a commodity that is often in short supply in adulthood. The same event which fills a child with wonder and joy often elicits only indifference, suspicion or doubt in an adult. Where the adult seeks reasons and explanations to dispell the mystery, the child seeks only a repetition of the event that he may delight in it once more. The child participates in the mystery; the adult tries to explain it away, or never even recognizes its presence.
The child has a more direct and immediate relationship with the reality of creation or of worship because of his humility and sense of wonder. He can delight in the "little things" of this world, for his world is not as cluttered as that of adults. The child has the simplicity and purity to recognize what for many adults is unrecognizable, to pay attention to the flower, the rock, the birds, the rainbow, the falling leaves, etc. In the Church, he notices and wonders at the color of the vestments, the light and darkness, the processions, the branches or palms and flowers which signal a feast, and the words and actions which occupy the congregation. Looking at the world through the eyes of a child, accompanying a child in his experience of it can be an illuminating experience for an adult.
All of us need some wonder and mystery in our lives. Wonder surprises us with humility, with the recognition of our own limitations and smallness. Wonder makes us want to reach out, to enter into and participate in another reality, rather than reduce it to our own circumstances and level of understanding. Wonder takes us out of ourselves, places our attention and value in the "other"- not for the sake of possessing it, but for delighting in it, not to serve our own ends, but to take joy in its very existence. If you want to learn about and share in n the joy of wonder ... take a toddler out for a walk. And take time to "smell the flowers."
Humility as Love and Joy
The final characteristic of the humility of childhood is the expression of love and joy. Unlike adults who are often too proud, embarrassed or self-conscious to express their emotions, the child freely gives of himself in the totality of his life.
Children have only one gift to give that is truly their own. Children have no real "possessions," they have only their lives, and the love and joy which those lives can bring to others. Parents have the unique privilege of being the recipients of the child's love and joy. A warm hug, a delightful giggle, or the child's boundless exuberance at play are all examples of the pure expression of the joy of a child. The child's joy and love, as well as his expressions of sadness and anger, are ways through which one comes to know the world and to experience it in the depths of one's being.
The child does not approach the world rationally; explanations cannot wipe away the hurt of a wound, the absence of an expected gift, the fear that a loved one will not return. Yet, in a moment, tears of sadness can become cries of joy as the child's attention shifts to another reality. The child's knowledge is that of present realities, fully experienced as sadness or joy, anger or love, intense concentration or wild abandonment.
The child and the creative genius have something in common: each gives himself up entirely with the totality of his being to the task of solving the problem, searching for the answer or creating a new possibility. The body, mind, and emotion are caught up in one all-consuming effort to the exclusion of all other interests to produce the answer or to find the way. And when that way is found or that key is discovered, the total being explodes in joy. That joy becomes worship, the desire to offer up all that one is and all that one has discovered to the whole world, to anyone who will look or listen.... to God.
True knowledge is knowledge of God, and God is love. Knowledge and love are inseparable. Love enables one to sacrifice, to give oneself up entirely to the other or to the task at hand. The search for truth and knowledge involves a commitment of the total person: mind, heart, will, and body. One only needs to observe a child who is totally involved in "work," to know what total dedication and love in the search for knowledge is all about. The one who applies this dedication to the search for God is the one who achieves true knowledge, true love and true joy.
Christ calls us all to "be like children." He calls us to place our trust and faith in Him - to acknowledge our total dependence upon Him for our every breath, to become imitators of His life, to offer Him our wonder- our acknowledgement that this whole world and all that we have in life comes from Him, and to offer to Him in full knowledge our joy and love with our entire being. Whether child or adult, we must become like children in spirit, and offer our whole life and whole heart to Christ our God.